habits.

Mallory!

Am I one for resolutions? No. Like you, I'm constantly trying to improve myself. This doesn't necessarily stem from a need to be ever-evolving, but more from a weird, innate need to be perfect. Which is something that I'm trying to resolve with myself because I recognize that it's unhealthy.

It's weird actually. I can look back on my life and pinpoint time periods that were very perfectionist-driven. There are other years, though, where I let myself go and accepted myself for myself. There doesn't seem to be a real pattern to it. I'm guessing it has to do with my fluctuating self-confidence. Does your self-confidence fluctuate depending on the seasons of your life or is it fairly even-keel?

Self-confidence is such a fickle thing, isn't it?

Any ways. Let's talk about habits we want to break and habits we want to maintain into 2014. How is that? No talk of resolutions. No talk of self-improvement necessarily. Just habits. Good. Bad. Fleeting. Life-long.

Let's dive in, shall we?!

(1) I would love to continue working out every other day. I seriously feel so fantastic right now. My energy level is a little bit more under control [without exercise I become the Energizer Bunny. No lie]. My stress level is healthy! I honestly haven't had a panic attack since I started working out. Which makes sense. Panic attacks only presented themselves in my life when I stopped working out. Like, way to go, Einstein [Einstein being me]. My bod looks positively fantastic. Like, my thighs are back. My butt is perkier. My stomach isn't just flat, but it looks strong. I actually have shoulders now!

I took this after our first night at the gym. I look way different. I should take another photo.

I'll stop gushing. I'm just really excited. I feel like myself again.

(2) I would like to break a majorly bad habit that I have established for myself: staying up too late. I'm a night owl. I get a ton of energy at night. But I know I could change this if I forced myself to get up earlier. Like, 8A. 7:30A. 7A. Any ways, I feel better when I wake up knowing I have the entire day. Who doesn't?

(3) I would like to start seeing a hair stylist on the reg. Like, every other month or so. Because my hair would maybe thank me instead of trying to extract itself from my scalp. Just an idea.

Stupid hair.

Do you have a hard time getting to the salon? Is it just me? Because I just think about the bill and the trying to find a stylist I like and the time it takes and I get tired and decide against a trip to the salon. Every time. Aaron actually has to force me to call and schedule appointments. No. Scratch that. He will seek out salons for me to call. It's embarrassing. For me.

(4) I would like continue taking the dogs for daily walks. Because we've never been very good at doing that, but ever since getting to Arkansas we've gone every day, barring the weather. Pats on the back for us.

Hurley after a particularly good walk.

What would you like to continue or break? I find habits to be such a weird, interesting topic of conversation.

Amy!

Similarities and differences.

Mallory! You're intrigued by roller derby, too?! As if the commonalities couldn't become even more obvious. I haven't gone so far as to give myself a name, but I love yours. Usually, as I start to dream up names, I envision a horrible, bone breaking catastrophe and decide that roller derby isn't for me. I've never broken any bones and I've heard that breaking them as an adult isn't ideal; the repercussions last a lifetime.

And, surprisingly enough, I'm a pretty cautious person; I abide by authority and I avoid injury.

I will teach you how to knit! Depending on the amount of time we have, I would love to teach you when I visit or we could just schedule a Skype date sometime and I can show you the basics. And you know that if anything happened to that blanket I would replace it in a heartbeat. Knitting that blanket was probably the best knitting project I've had in a while; it was a challenge, following a pattern while knitting with, what felt like, butter.

Every time I see a photo of Harry curled up with that blanket, my heart melts. I hoped he would love it, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Kids can be very particular, after all. But I'm so, so glad it's loved.

Remember that holiday card you sent out last year? The one that said, and I quote [from memory], "Mallory has been working on her most important craft to date: Growing a baby!" It still makes me crack up with laughter. And even though you feel like you don't have time to craft, know that whenever you do text me with a photo of a finished craft, my jaw hits the floor. That mobile you made? I still can't wrap my head around the patience it had to take to dream that up, let alone tackle it.

That is the stuff Etsy shops are made of, Mallory!

I don't know if I've ever said it, but I really admire your dedication to fitness. I grew up in a house where fitness wasn't a choice but a requirement and I've always kind of resented that; staying in shape was always grueling, a chore. Play tennis for an hour and a half, lift; practice your the toss for your serve for 45 minutes, practice against a ball machine for an hour, run on the elliptical; play in a tennis tournament, worry about electrolytes, eat a million PowerBars; etcetera. All I wanted to do was practice yoga, but my [at the time] uber-conservative parents wouldn't hear of it.

In fact, now that I think about it, I make time for crafting but not for exercise. Finally! Something that does not make me wonder if we were separated at birth! Haha...

[Why are my letters always so long? I feel like I've only just begun answer questions and pondering.]

 No matter where I'm at, I can find a chance to read.

I love the written word.

Hobbies I do without thinking about it... Just like brushing my teeth... Um. I organize our house like it's my job. Does that count? As I mentioned, I read. I do that without thinking. Naturally, without any prompting, I'll curl up with a book before I turn on the TV. Or I'll mute the TV and start reading. In fact, I did that so much growing up that my mom had to force me to go outside and play. Whoops. And writing. I've been writing--essays and stories and things--since I was in first grade. My mom gave me my first diary and I think it was the best gift I could have received. The freedom to write down my thoughts--however I wanted, when I wanted, with the language I wanted--and lock them up when I was finished for the day.

I'm going to have to think about that question a bit more, though. I feel like I'm missing a hobby. An important one... What do you think? Anything else pop in your head, pertaining to hobbies and skills and dreams?

Amy

Hobbies Are Like Bushing Your Teeth

Dear Amy,

I can't even start this letter without addressing roller derby. Ever since seeing Whip It (have you seen it? You must.) I have been slightly obsessed with roller derby. I absolutely want to dress up as a roller derby(-ist?) for Halloween one year. And I'm super curious about the actual sport. I don't know if I'm tough enough to try it... I took a nasty fall on my roller blades when I was twelve and I'm a little timid on wheels now... but if I ever decide to do so, I already have my roller derby name. Hermione Danger.

So there you go. There's one bada-double-s hobby I'd love to try. But I don't think I ever will. Halloween will have to do for now.

You absolutely must teach me to knit. I've done it before... really just knitting a scarf or two. Straight, simple, easy. And I required help to start and finish it. But I'd love to be able to create like you do. Your knitting is so beautiful. I get SO many compliments on Harry's blanket (which, tragically, shrunk a little bit in the wash. And yes I cried. But it's still beautiful, and Harry loves it more than anything else in his room so I guess that's all that matters).

I also want to learn to shoot film. Developing it might be too much for me (time! I need more time!) but I would love to learn to use a film camera. Film photography is so beautiful. So soft and romantic. Do you still have some of your old film photographs? I'd love to see them.

This kid is my main hobby right now.

So many hobbies have been put on the back burner since having Harry, and more specifically since my time was really stretched about five weeks ago. I used to create. Paint, sew, craft, refurbish... I created all the time. I don't have as much time for that anymore. And it's really festering. I think I need to make time to create. Even if it's something small. I need to release that energy.

I also used to hike a lot more. And kayak and swim and just get outside and be in nature more. But I don't blame Harry for that one. I blame Mississippi. Do you find it hard moving all the time? I feel like just when I'm getting settled and finding places to be outside, it's time to move again. I really miss hiking. I miss nature!

After my first marathon.

The funny thing about hobbies I've always had is that it's hard to realize they are hobbies. They are just part of my life now. I really had to think about your question, which is always the sign of a good question. Here's my answer: I'm a fitness junky. Working out is a hobby which I take very seriously. I've been a "runner" (I use the term loosely because I'll never win a race, and I just don't feel like a serious runner) since fourth grade. In college, I was a fitness instructor. I taught step aerobics and boot camp and core conditioning. And I have my personal training certification. Did you know that? Now, I work out in my garage a lot. We have a whole personal gym set up in there. It's a priority to me. One that I don't even think about. People like to comment on my dedication to fitness when they see me out on my runs every day, or lifting in my garage while Harry plays in his exersaucer. But it's like eating breakfast for me. Three days in a row, I work out. I take one day off, and then I start over again.

A weird hobby...

Also, I have a sort of weird hobby. Again, I didn't realize it was a hobby until I started thinking about how to answer your question. It goes like this: I decorate. Most of it is in my head and on the internet and in magazines. I dream up homes. I find houses for sale. I scour Pinterest. And then I think about what I would do to flip them. To turn them into a home I could love. I can dream about a house and it's decor for days. And days, and days. I turn obsessive. Maybe one day I'll flip houses.

What about you? Do you have any hobbies that you didn't even realize were hobbies? Something that feels as normal as brushing your teeth? I bet you do. Think about it.

Your crazy friend,
Mallory

A long note about hobbies.

Dear Mallory,

I wanted to write back last week but, as you know, orientation for my new job has been grueling. At the end of the day, when I arrived home, I could barely form a coherent sentence and all I wanted was an alcoholic beverage. But I was so glad to hear you were doing better. Considering I couldn't give you a hug, that's all I ask!

Also, yes, we better be making cookies. Girl, the recipes you've been pinning have me drooling. I know your sweet tooth is new to you [thanks, Harry!], but mine has been around since the dawn of time and all I'm asking is for a crunchy outside and a gooey inside to my cookies. With chocolate.

Hobbies! I love talking about hobbies. Is that weird? I don't know. Learning about how other people spend their spare time is so interesting to me. I met a woman the other day--at my orientation!--who seemed so nerdy and quiet and wholesome. And then I discovered she does roller derby. Not to say you can't be nerdy, quiet, wholesome, and play some rough and tumble roller derby, but I was pretty shocked.

So my hobbies. I finally mustered up the courage and refurbished some furniture! I had hopes and dreams of refurbishing more of our furniture, but maybe it was a good thing that I didn't coat myself and our home in dust from varnish. You should share the furniture that you've refurbished and built! I'm so impressed by the building you've done. And it's totally weird that you mention basket weaving because one of my roommates in college had a sister who majored in basket weaving. Isn't that awesome? I have no idea what you would do with a degree in basket weaving, but I was [and still am] enthralled by that. I think, if you ever find spare time [wink wink], you should look into basket weaving. I wonder if there's any sort of at-home kit or tutorial...

My hobbies. So I knit. You know that. I have this Etsy shop that I started last year and have never once taken an order in. A friend texted me the other day to find it and when she couldn't I realized it's probably not open to the public because I haven't paid my Etsy bill. Ha! ...Maybe that's not funny. It just sounds irresponsible and kind of typically me.

...So I knit. I write. I read. I'm constantly trying to find books that grab my attention. Unfortunately, recently that has meant that I find books that I cannot put down and, inevitably, end up reading in a day. Which includes staying up until 3A, when I finally have to set the book down because I can't hold my bleary eyes open anymore. Right now it's Gayle Forman's Just One Day and Just One Year.

I hunt for music. Is that a hobby? It feels as if it's a hobby. I'm never fully satisfied with the music on my iPod, so I'm constantly scrounging through music apps and YouTube and blogs. Right now it's Ellie Goulding, Kodaline, and Lorde. Over and over and over. Warning: I like emotion filled, note-building, multiple-octave, sometimes sad, sometimes joyful music.

In my front yard.

And then I like photography, as you're well aware. The majority of my high school and college careers was spent in dark rooms, developing film and photos by the light of an orange lightbulb. And I now have this Instagram profile with waaay too many photos and a huge external hard drive filled with photos and I just can't stop taking pictures. Of everything. All the time. In fact, as you know, on Saturday I started a project, the #forgottenhousesproject. [People can read more about it here.] I would talk more about it, but this letter has already gotten too long. I really feel like it's all about me right now and I hate that feeling. Just know that I'm super passionate about this project and if our lives weren't dictated by the military, I would be really tempted to buy some houses in our neighborhood and flip them. They're beautiful and it's so sad to me that they have fallen into such disrepair that the city has declared them "unsafe."

Both homes were built in 1939. 

The house on the bottom was sold for $3400 in 2012.

What are some hobbies you haven't been able to keep up with since having Harry? What are some hobbies that you've always had? I hope your weekend was better, that you're not building up that anger and that you're having a good Monday.

Amy

Let's Delve into Hobbies, Shall We?

Dear Amy,

I absolutely get what you're saying about healthy anger. It's good to get it out, at least I think so. Otherwise it builds and builds and builds. And then you just explode. So I didn't mind taking the weekend to really just unwind, and let the anger seep slowly out. And now it's gone. So I can start building it back up again (only kidding. sort of.).

I could eat my way through France right now.

Oh, and I'm reading Mastering the Art of French Eating by Ann Mah. So far, so good. The author has a very similar situation to mine, but lucky lady is in France instead of Mississippi. And it makes me really, really hungry.

Fab suggestions. Travel, oy. I've been bitten by the travel bug. I have been thinking about little else but the UK lately. Obsessing is more like. Finding cute places to stay on Airbnb. Also, planning for a few upcoming trips. Also, my current book is helping fuel the fire. I love travel.

And visitors! YES you can be that person for me. I will give you clean sheets and towels, but I'm so glad you won't mind if I don't vacuum the chairs (Calvin hair everywhere). Let's bake some cookies, okay?

Just a FEW of the things I'm dying to DIY. So many more here.

And hobbies. Yep. I've been trying to find time to start writing again. Nothing big. Just short stories, or even just characters. Something to fill my time. To empty my mind. To get those creative juices going. Also? DIY. Yeah, yeah, I know that's an old hobby, but one I haven't had much time for lately. So I'm really trying to get away from the Pinning and start the doing. Again, time is not on my side, but I'm pretty determined. So maybe we'll DIY some crap when you come visit. (Have I mentioned how excited I am that you're coming to visit?!)

I'm curious. What are you favorite hobbies? AND what hobbies would you love to start up? I love refurbishing furniture, so I'm really excited that you're into that now too. If I'm being honest, I'm dying to get into pottery. I want to throw some clay (vernacular?) and have some gorgeous bowls to show for it. Also, basket weaving. I want to do it. Apparently I've been stifling some creative juices, because they are all threatening to pour out of me at any moment.

Your friend with the itchy fingers,
Mallory