Doing and being.

Dear Mallory,

You are so welcome.

And I've never put much emphasis on doing things; I think it's overrated. My favorite thing to do with friends is make tea/coffee/an alcoholic beverage, sit on a comfortable couch, and talk. I know that's so cliche and girly and stereotypical, but it's true. Those are the memories that will stay with me. So I think our weekend "activities" were perfect! Popcorn + chatting. Tea + chatting. Sitting on the floor with Harry + chatting.

I can't get over your kid.

It's not that I don't like doing, sometimes that's really what you need, a friend to help you get out of the house and explore. But when meeting up with a friend that I haven't seen in a looong time--like you!--low-key time spent chatting and baking and laughing while watching "The Heat" is exactly what is needed. I know you needed a friend to listen and I needed a friend to laugh with--a month spent with my husband driving through mountains and cleaning houses and navigating rental agreements is great and all, but I was desperately in need of girl time!

And I am always in search of the opportunity to just be. It was a great weekend to practice being.

The way he watches you is so cute.

And we will definitely have to meet up again soon! Jon included! I have no idea what we would share with you... Probably The Fold. Have you ever been there? It's this fairly new restaurant with overpriced margaritas and the perfect tacos. Like, perfect. And I would want to take a stroll on the Riverwalk. Actually, I think we would be desperate for a walk. Our place is fairly tiny and I think we would need fresh air--dogs and baby included! Aside from those things, though, I think Scrabble and good food and video games [for the guys? Or would it be sports? Or both?] would be the perfect weekend activities. And when I say "good food" you know I'm implying Jon and Aaron spend some time in the kitchen. With their mutual love of food and cooking, I'm interested to see what they would serve up.

And here is the weekly round-up of links we need to share:

• The cookies we made from Averie cooks.
• The best tumblr site for bookworms like me [and you]!
• You've probably already seen this, but it's the best.

And from Mallory:

• I was so inspired by this post. Today is the day. Today can be tomorrow, or later, or when I have more time. I need to think like that more often.
• I am 100% filing this away for the day Harry wants to dress up as a Star Wars character. 
• Is it too ridiculous to make this big enough for both Harry AND I to play in?

Have a stellar weekend, Mallory.

Amy

Dwelling on the future.

Dear Mallory,

There's so much I want to say in response to your letter.

I'm not a mom. I have two furry babies that make me feel guilty every time I leave the house with simple, forlorn looks and howling Chucks, but it's not the same as a human babe. I know it's not the same. Aaron and I can come and go as we please without having to worry about packing diaper bags and thinking about nap or bedtimes or meals... But as we've been trying for a baby, I have had to think about what my job situation is going to be like. You can't get maternity leave if you're a temp [which I technically am for four months]. Daycare is pricey. My second income would help out a lot with student loans and other bills, though. And groceries. And dog food. And car maintenance. But I don't want to work when we have a baby. I can't stand the idea of someone else experiencing my baby's firsts. Working as a nanny and in a daycare, I always cringed when a parent arrived in the morning, dropping off their kid, exclaiming, "He took his first steps last night!" ...okay sure, you believe that...

The back and forth of those two arguments is enough to make me go insane. Or, at the very least, throw my hands in the air in defeat; if it's not working now, maybe we should just continue to wait!

As strange as it sounds, it's nice to know where you're at with your career and your family. We all seem to have our lives figured out, but we should know--as fellow struggling human beings--that no one really has it figured out. We're all second guessing ourselves and our choices and our futures. And we're not alone. And we should be okay sharing! It makes it easier to lean on one another, after all.

Does any of this make sense? I've had kind of a weird afternoon and my mind is wandering in a million different directions and an incredible speed. I'd like to talk about this more, though. I'd like to discuss the battles that we women rage against ourselves and others. We should trust ourselves and our instincts. We shouldn't be so quick to judge one another, assuming we're the only ones that are struggling. No one should assume that because you're working from home, you're leading the perfect life, with a perfect balance, of mom and career woman. No one should assume that I'm focusing on my career when really I'm focusing on what I don't have...

And, after a long hiatus, here is a list of our weekly round-ups.

• I am currently obsessed with this meal.
• This documentary is surprisingly beautiful, hilarious, and emotional.
• I imported my old blog, boundless, onto Amy & Bear. I don't know why you'd want to read through those embarrassing old posts, though.
• Earlier this week, Mallory, who also writes for The Wise Baby, gave us a peak into Harry's nursery!

I'm going to relax with these guys this weekend.

We hope everyone has a relaxing and beautiful weekend.

Truly,

Amy

The End of Dreaming (Not Really) + An Update

Dear Readers,

First of all, I don't think Amy and I can thank you enough for coming to our little corner of the internet to see what we're up to. It makes us happy to have such a great community already. Make sure to comment when you feel compelled... we want to get to know you too!

This pup has lived in seven houses. He's only five years old.

I just wanted to update you all on our little puppy. I had such an amazing, supportive reaction to my letter about sending Duke to live with his grandparents for the rest of the year. I was actually a little worried about hitting "publish" on that post, because it's a very sensitive subject in our home. And, believe it or not, I was nervous that someone would have something negative to say about our situation. I should have known we'd receive only an outpouring of love and support from all of you. What a great bunch of people we're getting to know.

Anyway, Duke is doing okay. He was great the first week. It was like summer camp - he had friends to throw the frisbee with for hours upon hours. He was living in a new house where the people didn't know all the rules. He got walks and trips to the park and treats and cuddles. He was living the life. I think it's starting to sink in now that he's up there for a while. We've heard he's been testing his boundaries a bit more, chasing his tail a lot, and sitting by the door waiting for something (or someone). Most of Jon's family is at summer camp this week, so I'm hoping Duke's excitement to have them home next week will snap him out of it for a little while longer.

We miss our puppy every day. Our house feels weirdly quiet (and clean) without him. My walks are a little lonelier. But I'm 100% convinced that this is the best for him. Jon's family is loving on him something crazy, and he's getting lots of love, affection, discipline, and exercise up there. Things that would have been worn thin down here. So all in all, he's doing well. We're doing okay. But let me just tell you, that reunion is going to be so much fun. I can't wait.

This week we talked about our dreams. It was quite possibly my favorite topic so far. It's so much fun to just whisk yourself away in your own head, isn't it? What do you dream about? Attainable, unattainable, or anywhere in between. I love hearing about other peoples dreams... and encouraging them to GO FOR IT. So you. Yes, you. Tell me your dream, and I'll encourage the heck out of you.

And here is the weekly roundup of links we need to share.

• a super sweet duo, the kids of a Canadian photographer I adore.
• something to remember while we spend our days dreaming.
• I totally want to make one of these for Amy to thank her for encouraging my dreams this week.
• what Jonathan gets to look forward to when he gets home.
• my all time favorite picture of my boys.
• Amy's doctor gave her a headache of a potential diagnosis yesterday, so after rushing home to research gluten and gluten-free recipes and the difference between Celiac's Disease and Non-Celiac Gluten Sensitivity [NCGS] she discovered this gem. 
•  Amy is in the middle of reading Jessica Alba's book The Honest Life and it's scaring her! So she did us the favor and checked out one of Alba's favorite and oft-touted websites No More Dirty Looks. From Amy's curly head to yours, please do yourself the favor and gaze upon the website's natural beauty magic. 
•  Amy's back to reviewing books on her blog. Check out her recent "must read" list here.

Have a great weekend everyone! And pipe in with your dreams.

XO Mallory