Don't Buy Your Wedding Dress the Day You Try It On

Dear Amy,

Yes. I danced (and sang, oh my.) to the Spice Girls at my wedding. And no it was not planned. We are really just that good for each other. MFEO (name that movie!)

My favorite wedding picture. c/o Erica Hampton

I love your story. Oy to the military, first of all, but go you for embracing it. I know so many couples who had to change plans at the last minute (moving a wedding up 4 months... giving them a week to pull it all together) thanks to changing Orders. Yes I capitalized Orders. Because when a little sheet of paper has that much power over your life, it needs to be capitalized.

When did you tell all of your reception guests that you were, ahem, already married? Did they take it well? I swear, I don't think I'll ever get over the romance of elopements. I've got a secret dream to elope (can I elope with Jon now that we're already married? People have second weddings and vow renewals all the time, right?) in some fabulous City Hall, like San Francisco, and then go get some delicious brunch. French toast + fruit. With fabulous flowers, a cute little dress, and just a handful of my loves. And a cinematographer. Because dang it if I could do it all over again, I would hire a freaking cinematographer.

So that is my advice: Hire a freaking wedding cinematographer. Just do it. Make the room in your budget. Uninvite your college roommates cousin. Cut down the menu. Go with candles instead of flowers. But hire a wedding cinematographer. (Side note, how terrible is that about your wedding shoes?! I would be devastated. Especially considering how cute those things were.) Wedding films get me going every single time, and I almost never know the couple in the film. Imagine the boxes of tissue I'd go through anytime I watched our (nonexistent) film.

And yes, we planned our wedding from 1,200 miles away in Colorado (we got married in Ann Arbor, MI). It was crazy, because we did it in five months. I met my photographer in my underwear the day of my wedding. I never met my florist (I didn't even pick out my flowers! I sent my mom and sister to find me a sunflower bouquet and white flowers for mah ladies). The venue was never seen, the food never tasted, the dj (who turned out to be my sisters ex-boyfriend (!!!)) was never introduced to us. All I can say is thank god for the internet. And for other over excited brides in MI who wanted to share every detail of their planning process with me. It was a whirlwind from afar.

The one detail I was able to plan for was my dress. But that is a story in and of itself. I'm no dummy. I've been obsessed with weddings since my first viewing of Father of the Bride. I knew, don't buy the first dress you try on. But what did I do? I bought (one of) the first dresses I tried on. On the spot, which is another big no no. I loved it. My mom didn't. But we bought it anyway, from the very first shop we went to, the very first day we went shopping.

And then I went home and cried my eyes out to Jon that it was the wrong dress and I was so stupid for buying it and I didn't get to have the dress trying on experience I wanted.

Luckily, I decided to stick with it, because I really loved my dress in the long run. After removing the straps and hemming it like six inches (who knew I was so short?) it was perfect for me, for our wedding, for the warm July day. Do you have any stories like that? Or were you smart enough to sleep on all big decisions?

Would you ever renew your vows? Or maybe just have a crazy good anniversary party one day? I have always wanted to throw a giant, fun anniversary party one day when we have more money for frivolous things like anniversary shindigs. Don't get me wrong, our wedding was perfect, but we were poor college students at the time. We were on a bah-udget. I used to want to do a giant Gatsby-ish party, complete with white tent, 12-piece band, lots of pretty flowers and warm candles. And I would wear a gold dress. But now that Gatsby is so trendy, I'm rethinking it. Maybe we'll do something else. Something a little more unique. Either way, we're partying like it's 2009 (our wedding year) one day. And you're invited.

Okay, our anniversary trip. We always wanted to go to Eastern Europe for our five year trip. Budapest, Vienna, Prague. But we may end up living in Europe one day, as you know, so we're rethinking it. Right now I think we're leaning toward NYC? Back to Jamaica? Alaska? Time will tell, and you know I'll keep you in the loop.

Okay. Spill it. If you could (had to?) do your wedding all over again, totally different, what would you do?

Your wedding obsessed friend,
Mallory