In which I freak out.

Posted on: Tuesday, June 25, 2013


I would have written sooner but my car broke down yesterday. In the middle of the Best Buy parking lot. And, because you’ve never ridden in The Hoopty, you need to know I was not surprised. The stupid thing has been giving us grief since I drove it from MI to CA back in the middle of 2009’s blistering summer. The fuel pump has died. The fuel pump! Of all things! That’s a necessity. And it has burned through more belts than I have ever owned. The battery has dried out. The transmission was rudely depositing pieces of metal into my oil tank and then, because pieces of metal can only mean one thing [apparently], painstakingly rebuilt. The shocks, brakes, and tires have all been replaced. The radiator recently cracked...

I mean, really. Need I go on?

Like. What am I supposed to do now? Fly everywhere? [I wish. How cool would that be?!] Pull myself around by the teeth? Luge my way to work [I live at the top of an incredible tall hill, so this would actually be a lot of fun if it weren’t for all of the cars and solid objects, like trees and buildings]? Thank god for my legs. Because, really, my only option now is to walk the one and a half miles to work [my butt thanks me, I’m sure].

 The Hoopty.

Any ways. Long story short, we’re probably going to donate the heap of metal to the Make-A-Wish Foundation or something. They can scrap it or do whatever they choose to with it because I just don’t care anymore.

Which then leaves me with the following question for you: What do I do?! This is what Aaron and I wanted, right? We wanted to be a one car home! I was going to use my two legs to walk the one and a half miles to work! Things like doctor’s appointments and other necessities would be grappled with when they came along! But what did you do, Mallory?! When Jon and you were a one car home, what did you do?! Did you take public transportation?! Walk everywhere?! Bike places?! Trade the car on and off depending on who needed it most?! Are you secretly magical and know how to Accio! your car to wherever you needed it?! [If so, teach me your ways.]

Luckily, Aaron got me a bike for my birthday! Double lucky for me, Aaron is horrible at keeping secrets. On Sunday, he told me he was “going on a secret mission” and that I was not allowed to join him. He then called me from an undisclosed location to talk about my view on hybrid bikes compared to road bikes. He then came home very rosy cheeked with a goofy, wide grin on his face. Getting right to the point, I asked, “You got me a bike, didn't you?! Can I have it whenever it’s ready? I can’t wait until my birthday.” And then the car died yesterday. And my bike was ready for pick up. And sometimes I just marvel at the coincidence of life. Because, who could have predicted my car would die? And that, for my birthday, I would be receiving a bike? Not me, that’s who.

 The Bike! [I haven't named it yet.]

But this morning, as I was getting ready to hoof my way to work, I started to panic. What if there were extenuating circumstances that required I have a car?! Like, the Jetta spontaneously combusted [there’s no other way that thing would die. It’s a true gem]?! Or it was raining so hard it was impossible to walk down the hill to work?! Or I pulled a back muscle while trying to twist into some strange yoga position and I was, therefore, unable to walk?! Or I suddenly became blind and was unable to walk down the hill to work [I realize in this situation I probably wouldn’t be going to work at all]?! Or what if I lost a foot [also not going to work]?! Or we move and there are no sidewalks?!

All of this to say, for some reason, I’m suddenly very panicked about being without a car. Tell me it’s going to be okay, Mallory. Please!

And any ways. How great is this blog? Can you believe all of the people who have stopped by and spread the word and supported us? I’m truly feeling the love. (Hello readers! I will possibly be back at a later date with a "Hello!" from myself.)



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